Anywhere, I would’ve followed you.

I reached my hand out in the darkness. My fingertips touched a cool, smooth surface. Lightly tapping on the surface, I realized I’m behind a glass wall.

Dim lights came on on the other side of the wall, bright enough I can just about make out what is there on the other side.

A little boy was getting beat up by his peers… I watched in horror as his peers left without saying a word. The boy stood up and slowly walked along the glass wall, oblivious to my presence. I walked with him, hand trailing along the cold glass wall. I watched him slowly grow up with bruises. I watched him as he get verbally attacked, I watched him as he enclosed himself in a box and became more quiet. I watched as he curled up in bed and cried himself to sleep.

I want to help him. Whenever he stops walking, I sit down on the other side of the glass wall, sympathetic thoughts filled my mind. I want to let him know I understood. I wanted to give him a hug, and tell him that I am here for him. I watched him for a long time, like a movie slowly unfolding through a one-way glass.

Today is Christmas Day. He is 22, has recently moved out to live by himself, and is the first time in his life to spend Christmas alone. He sat on his bed, with a hollow stare to whatever is outside his window. I sat here looking at him, until he looked over to my direction. Staring straight into me. I raised my hands and gently pressed them against the glass wall, trying to mentally comfort him while looking him in his sad eyes. As time passed, I slowly leaned forward and looked closer at him. I see tears in his eyes as he gradually stood up, and walked towards my direction without breaking eye contact. He stopped in front of me and looked down to me, then steadily sat down. I looked at him intently. He looked like he was searching for words, before opening his mouth,

“Say something, I’m giving up on you.”

I gasped inaudibly, as it slowly dawned on me that he might be trying to talk to me.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you.” I replied.

I watched him as tears fell from his sad face. He put his hands on the glass wall.

Up against my hands.

---

 

Thank you to Pentatonix and Jasmine Thompson’s versions of “Say Something”. Tonight I have cried to both versions and I really, really needed that. I also did feel a bit better after writing this.

Galaxy Nail Art Tutorial!! Using Rimmel London and Barry M nail polishes.

I’m skipping a week of Nail Art challenge, because it was my birthday! As some of you may know I am IN LOVE with galaxy themed things. So I’ve decided to give galaxy nails another try! After watching some tutorials, I’ve decided to get some make-up sponge, and let it do all the work. This time it’s much more easy to achieve this galaxy effect since the sponge did the work rather than the nail polish brushes.

As shown in this picture, I’ve grabbed a plastic packaging and dotted some nail polish onto it and dip the sponge into it. I found this method better than just dipping the nail polish onto the sponge directly, just so the color wouldn’t be so intense when applying to the nail. It’s also much easier to control the application. (I’ve learnt it the hard way, cus I tried this before using the better method.)

I first painted my nails with Essie First Base base coat on all fingers, then Rimmel London #800 Black Out on all fingers except ring finger. For the galaxy effect, I first tapped some Rimmel London #198 Azure onto a diagonal part of the nail, and after it dried, I tapped a bit of Rimmel London #370 Silver Bullet to highlight the effect more. As you can see, I from the plastic packaging and the sponge, I did try to use some purple, but I didn’t really like the effect it gave, so I just painted a bit more blue and white to cover them up. After they’re dried, I tapped some Barry M #350 Diamond Glitter onto the blue and white part. Thinking about it now, I would’ve tapped a bit more glitter, just so there could be more stars.

The reason why I didn’t use Rimmel London’s Disco Ball, is because there is that teeny bit of difference in the two glitter polish. Disco Ball has glitter that reflects various colors, the color variation is higher than Barry M’s Diamond Glitter, and this kinda takes the focus point off of the galaxy effect and the colors behind the glitter.

For the ring finger, I’ve used the Barry M #319 Silver Foil. I’ve also used the Barry M Nail Art Pen Silver to draw and outline the pattern before painting it in with Silver Foil. This is because the nail art pen itself has a hard tip, making it very easy and controllable to draw. The nail art pen doesn’t release a lot of polish at once though, maybe because I haven’t squeezed it enough. However since I wanted a consistent color with my ring finger anyways, I’ve painted the pattern in with Silver Foil. Then to top all fingers off, I’ve used the Essie Good to Go top coat.

Supplies:
Nail Art Base and Top Coat on all fingers: Essie First Base base coat + Essie Good to Go top coat.
Galaxy Nails: Rimmel London #800 Black Out + Rimmel London #198 Azure + Rimmel London #730 Silver Bullet + Barry M #350 Diamond Glitter.
Silver Polish: Barry M Nail Art Pen Silver (for Chevron pattern) + Barry M #319 Silver Foil.

If you’ve noticed from all the nail art I’ve done, it’s the very first time I’ve used something else apart from the 2True base coat and top coat. That’s cus I’ve bought them for a birthday treat for myself, and I wanna do a review on them. Apart from that, I received the Seche Vite base and top coat from my aunt for my birthday!! So I’m thinking I’ll just do a review on that as well.

Until next time,
-Alyx

Journal Entry – February 3, 2014 Dear my bear,

It’s been a year since we officially started going out. I actually kinda do miss those days where I’m so nervous to talk to you, and then that time when I’m so shy I didn’t even look at you when I met you. The innocent me I was back then. However, I am happy as we are now. We were way pass that fresh couple stage, and we’re completely comfortable with each other. I’ve told you secrets I’ve never told anyone, secrets and memories I wanted to forget myself. I’m comfortable to wear skirts around you when I don’t even like to wear them around my family.

It’s the stage that some people find it hard to be together anymore, because they expect so much of each other. I sincerely hope that that won’t be our case, and I hope we can fix whatever problems we have between us if there’s any in the future. I still have loads to learn, how to be me, and how to be a good best friend and girlfriend to you. You still have loads to improve, and learn more about life. And you know what? I love the idea of us both learning about life together, learning from each other, learning from our experiences. I’ve changed so much in the past year, and mostly because of you. So Thanks.

I really don’t know what life will throw at us this coming year, but I just hope we will be there for each other for the countless years to come. I enjoyed your company every night, even though we don’t really have anything to talk about sometimes. Our relationship may sound bizarre to some people, most of it being through the Internet and all, but it really teaches me something. To treasure the times we spend together. I cannot count the times I’ve hugged you when we were together, and I don’t wanna let go at all. It makes me treasure our memories more, pinning the train tickets and Eurogamer wristband to my wall.

The protection you’ve given me this past year is new to me but I feel much more secure than I was before. The insecurity that builds up in me after insults, my worries for friends of mine, or anger or fear for things that happened to me, you’ve been there for me, no matter physically or mentally. And I thank you for that.

Yes, a lot of people were shocked to find out that we met online through a mutual friend, but we’ve went through things together and we fought for each other. Yes, my family still don’t approve entirely of the relationship, but I really intend to change their view. I am not about to give up on anything, but I want to fight for us, because I love you.

You’re my star in the dark night. Thank you love. ❤

Lots of BANANAS,
-Aly :3