Journal Entry – February 3, 2014 Dear my bear,


It’s been a year since we officially started going out. I actually kinda do miss those days where I’m so nervous to talk to you, and then that time when I’m so shy I didn’t even look at you when I met you. The innocent me I was back then. However, I am happy as we are now. We were way pass that fresh couple stage, and we’re completely comfortable with each other. I’ve told you secrets I’ve never told anyone, secrets and memories I wanted to forget myself. I’m comfortable to wear skirts around you when I don’t even like to wear them around my family.

It’s the stage that some people find it hard to be together anymore, because they expect so much of each other. I sincerely hope that that won’t be our case, and I hope we can fix whatever problems we have between us if there’s any in the future. I still have loads to learn, how to be me, and how to be a good best friend and girlfriend to you. You still have loads to improve, and learn more about life. And you know what? I love the idea of us both learning about life together, learning from each other, learning from our experiences. I’ve changed so much in the past year, and mostly because of you. So Thanks.

I really don’t know what life will throw at us this coming year, but I just hope we will be there for each other for the countless years to come. I enjoyed your company every night, even though we don’t really have anything to talk about sometimes. Our relationship may sound bizarre to some people, most of it being through the Internet and all, but it really teaches me something. To treasure the times we spend together. I cannot count the times I’ve hugged you when we were together, and I don’t wanna let go at all. It makes me treasure our memories more, pinning the train tickets and Eurogamer wristband to my wall.

The protection you’ve given me this past year is new to me but I feel much more secure than I was before. The insecurity that builds up in me after insults, my worries for friends of mine, or anger or fear for things that happened to me, you’ve been there for me, no matter physically or mentally. And I thank you for that.

Yes, a lot of people were shocked to find out that we met online through a mutual friend, but we’ve went through things together and we fought for each other. Yes, my family still don’t approve entirely of the relationship, but I really intend to change their view. I am not about to give up on anything, but I want to fight for us, because I love you.

You’re my star in the dark night. Thank you love. ❤

Lots of BANANAS,
-Aly :3

Life rant/Catch up with me.


Jeez, this is going to be a long post. One of those late night post full of feelings yenno.

I hated secondary school, I always have, and I probably always will. Still remember when I used to get bad grades in school? I’m not ashamed to say my final results in HKDSE were a 5*, a 4, three 3’s, and a 2. I was never good in Chinese, which was where I got my 2 from. I came last in class back then. Heh. I used to be ashamed of my Chinese skills, but now? Now, I’m more proud of my English skills than I am ashamed of anything else. Last year, I didn’t study in Year 1 because I entered the school with my IGCSE results. I went into foundation year, studying something I love, Media & Communication. I loved the subject so much, I put a crap ton of effort in it. I graduated with results I never knew I could achieve. *cough*I came 1st/2nd in class around 5 times.*cough* I ended last year with an 84 in Media & Marketing, topping the class. #likeabaus Even though I still did average in Sociology especially, I didn’t fail once. How did I do such difference in foundation studies from secondary school though? It’s just because I LOVED what I was doing, simple as. I realized I just hated what I was doing in secondary school. So don’t ask me why I’m not actively going back to gatherings.

Coming to the UK, meeting all these new friends, both in real life, and on the Internet, made me realize something else. I loved my secondary school friends, but some of our friendships just don’t work anymore. Some friends I used to consider being best friends…should never be considered as best friends. Some of my closest friends from secondary will always remain my best friends, but there are a few that I no longer consider my friends anymore. Looking back, there are friends whom I should never have trusted as best friends. Anyways, right now I have so many more awesome friends who share the same interest as me, and I intend to meet more. I love all of them, even though some of us aren’t as close as others, we still support each other. Rumor-free, stress-free, and they’re always willing to listen. Let me be honest, I’ve never had a friend who will always listen to me like he did, apart from my boyfriend that is. (Thank you Patrick. :3 <3)

As I said earlier, I’m proud of my English skills. I’m now capable to speak fluent English, and I’ve been improving because I have these friends from all over the world. Jeez, they’re literally from all over the world as well, UK obviously, US, Ireland, Sweden, Portugal, Norway, Belgium. Communicating with them had improved my English skills…well my boyfriend said so…he would understand even when I derp and say gibberish.  ._. Over time I’ve develop a teeny tiny bit of British accent on top of my weird ‘Murican accent as well. However I can never get over the fact that I have to start calling “chips” “crisps”, and “toe-may-toe” “toe-mah-toe”. Nahhh, I’m not gonna get over it. Maybe some day.

Recently though, I’ve gotten very frustrated about my social life. I don’t normally go out at night, and I don’t normally go out at all. Now I’ve only my school life, and video games, but I now feel like that is not enough. Which was why in the past summer I’ve a new hobby, crafting. However, now that I’ve returned to the UK, I was forced to put down this hobby. (All the supplies aren’t here with me.) I’ve always wanted to join some dancing classes in Uni maybe? Now that’s the problem. I grew up learning ballet, then switching to hip hop/jazz, requiring none free-styling. I suck at free-styling. If I’m ever to get into dancing again I don’t want to be in a class full of people who’ve never stopped dancing, because I haven’t danced in 2 years. (Holy shit that’s a long time.) I missed dancing so much, and giving up dancing is my biggest regret in life yet, even though I wasn’t the one to make the decision. Maybe one day I’ll go pick up one of those adult lyrical ballet classes that doesn’t require skills nor free-styling. ._.

Addressing a question people itch to ask me sometimes: How’s my relationship going on? I have to admit, I’ve seen so many LDRs, but not many works. There are 2 couples I personally know that are in LDRs, and 3 other couples that I don’t know personally. It isn’t easy, knowing your loved one is sad/sick/mad, but you just can’t do anything except talking to them. I know we all are fighting hard though. Jacob and I are 8 months into our relationship, we did get sad, very sad in fact, during this past summer because we missed each other too much. We had tiny arguments that aren’t exactly arguments. We had ups and downs…but in the end of the day, we still love each other, we still are there for each other. I know we’re both hurting because we miss each other too much, but we stayed strong, and that’s the most important thing. The other 2 LDR couples both have a longer history than I do, I hope we all keep fighting. We can do it. To: David x Rachel, Jordan x Rhee. 🙂 ❤

Welp I guess that’s kinda the end of this. If you’ve any questions, about me/about life/about relationships/whatever, go ask me at ask.fm/alyssakx. I also apologize about whatever grammar mistake I made, it’s almost 3am.

Journal Entry — June 28, 2013 (Another one of those times where I write on the plane.).


This time I’m actually writing on my tablet, so sick of typing on the virtual keyboard. I’l type it out later.

In this past 6 months, I’ve experienced ups and downs. Since the last time I’ve been on a plane, I’ve experienced a lot. What was mentioned in a previous post, was the start of a relationship I have never dreamt of having. Yet, after almost 5 months, I sit here, missing the last two weeks we had together.

Long distance relationships are never easy, but I have learnt a lot from it. I’ve learnt to treasure the times we had together, and even times I spend with my friends as well.

I’m going to work, yes, a summer job. It’s crazy, and quite sudden as well…but as a soon-to-be undergrad student, I do have a few reasons too. Money, experience…mostly money. Oh come on, at least I admit it. This however, also means I won’t be able to talk to a lot of the people I care about, and obviously, play any kind of video games at all. It’s gonna suck, I just hope it will turn out better than what I’m expecting it to be. I hope it will turn out nothing like I expect it to be.

Another thing I’ve also discovered, is how common some things are without us realizing…and by things I mean from self-harming, and depression, to sex-trafficking. (Learnt more about sex-trafficking on Sevenly.org.) Here’s a few words of advice: Seek help if you think anything’s wrong, no matter for yourself, or for someone else. It doesn’t have to be some counselor or teacher, tell someone you trust, or your parents. If you’re an adult, pay more attention to your children: are there any abnormality? Also, teach your children never to bully others, and that words are very, very powerful. Actions may result in physical injuries, leaving scars, but negative words can leave scars as well. Even if they are told in a joking manner. Words are powerful. Negative words and phrases, such as “I/we hate you.”, “You are a slut/anorexic/fat/whore/c*nt.” are being said by teenagers every day. They can affect other teen victims, causing depression or self harming, or well, committing suicide. It happened, and it will happen again if nothing is done. Internet hatred/bullying is not only not acceptable either, but it could get even worse.

For people who are facing all these shit, I may not fully understand everything, but I believe you can hang in there, and things will eventually turn out much better. I believe you can stand up again. I believe in you.

It’s almost 2am, I better get some sleep. I’ll be thinking of you, I miss you. I love you all.

P.S.: Lulu’s login music is amazing! ❤