Journal Entry – February 3, 2014 Dear my bear,


It’s been a year since we officially started going out. I actually kinda do miss those days where I’m so nervous to talk to you, and then that time when I’m so shy I didn’t even look at you when I met you. The innocent me I was back then. However, I am happy as we are now. We were way pass that fresh couple stage, and we’re completely comfortable with each other. I’ve told you secrets I’ve never told anyone, secrets and memories I wanted to forget myself. I’m comfortable to wear skirts around you when I don’t even like to wear them around my family.

It’s the stage that some people find it hard to be together anymore, because they expect so much of each other. I sincerely hope that that won’t be our case, and I hope we can fix whatever problems we have between us if there’s any in the future. I still have loads to learn, how to be me, and how to be a good best friend and girlfriend to you. You still have loads to improve, and learn more about life. And you know what? I love the idea of us both learning about life together, learning from each other, learning from our experiences. I’ve changed so much in the past year, and mostly because of you. So Thanks.

I really don’t know what life will throw at us this coming year, but I just hope we will be there for each other for the countless years to come. I enjoyed your company every night, even though we don’t really have anything to talk about sometimes. Our relationship may sound bizarre to some people, most of it being through the Internet and all, but it really teaches me something. To treasure the times we spend together. I cannot count the times I’ve hugged you when we were together, and I don’t wanna let go at all. It makes me treasure our memories more, pinning the train tickets and Eurogamer wristband to my wall.

The protection you’ve given me this past year is new to me but I feel much more secure than I was before. The insecurity that builds up in me after insults, my worries for friends of mine, or anger or fear for things that happened to me, you’ve been there for me, no matter physically or mentally. And I thank you for that.

Yes, a lot of people were shocked to find out that we met online through a mutual friend, but we’ve went through things together and we fought for each other. Yes, my family still don’t approve entirely of the relationship, but I really intend to change their view. I am not about to give up on anything, but I want to fight for us, because I love you.

You’re my star in the dark night. Thank you love. ❤

Lots of BANANAS,
-Aly :3

Everyone’s Hurting.


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“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

–Bob Marley

[Currently Playing and Slightly Inspired by: “A Little Death” –The Neighbourhood]

It hurts.

It hurts to think. It hurts to think what everyone is going through.

Everyone’s hurting. What we’re going through, what we’re all going through. All sorts of things others simply cannot imagine. Going through an obstacle course of our own. Maybe we could put on a smile. Put on a smile and be nice. Maybe we could try harder, try harder to let them have a better day. Try harder to make each other smile, cus everyone’s hurting.

…but who cares? Who cares what others think, who cares what others feel? Some are selfish. Judging, venting, bashing, hating, insulting. Their own feelings first and foremost. Negative comments fill their minds.

Where is love?

…but some escape. Some escape from themselves, escape from their own worlds, escape from their own feelings. It’s easy to fake a smile and live on. Lacking self-love, hurting themselves more.

Where is love?

Everyone has secrets nonetheless. Secrets so dark and deep we never share. Secrets so dark and deep they eat us inside and out. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of how others see me. I’ve had enough of being someone else’s puppet. I’ve had enough of listening to judgments and complaints and insults. I’ve had enough of all these. I’ve had enough.

Where is love?

Final countdown. Final countdown to seconds spent in this room. This moonlit room.

I am in position. It’s going to take a while, but I’m ready.

I am ready.

Where is love?

Journal Entry — June 28, 2013 (Another one of those times where I write on the plane.).


This time I’m actually writing on my tablet, so sick of typing on the virtual keyboard. I’l type it out later.

In this past 6 months, I’ve experienced ups and downs. Since the last time I’ve been on a plane, I’ve experienced a lot. What was mentioned in a previous post, was the start of a relationship I have never dreamt of having. Yet, after almost 5 months, I sit here, missing the last two weeks we had together.

Long distance relationships are never easy, but I have learnt a lot from it. I’ve learnt to treasure the times we had together, and even times I spend with my friends as well.

I’m going to work, yes, a summer job. It’s crazy, and quite sudden as well…but as a soon-to-be undergrad student, I do have a few reasons too. Money, experience…mostly money. Oh come on, at least I admit it. This however, also means I won’t be able to talk to a lot of the people I care about, and obviously, play any kind of video games at all. It’s gonna suck, I just hope it will turn out better than what I’m expecting it to be. I hope it will turn out nothing like I expect it to be.

Another thing I’ve also discovered, is how common some things are without us realizing…and by things I mean from self-harming, and depression, to sex-trafficking. (Learnt more about sex-trafficking on Sevenly.org.) Here’s a few words of advice: Seek help if you think anything’s wrong, no matter for yourself, or for someone else. It doesn’t have to be some counselor or teacher, tell someone you trust, or your parents. If you’re an adult, pay more attention to your children: are there any abnormality? Also, teach your children never to bully others, and that words are very, very powerful. Actions may result in physical injuries, leaving scars, but negative words can leave scars as well. Even if they are told in a joking manner. Words are powerful. Negative words and phrases, such as “I/we hate you.”, “You are a slut/anorexic/fat/whore/c*nt.” are being said by teenagers every day. They can affect other teen victims, causing depression or self harming, or well, committing suicide. It happened, and it will happen again if nothing is done. Internet hatred/bullying is not only not acceptable either, but it could get even worse.

For people who are facing all these shit, I may not fully understand everything, but I believe you can hang in there, and things will eventually turn out much better. I believe you can stand up again. I believe in you.

It’s almost 2am, I better get some sleep. I’ll be thinking of you, I miss you. I love you all.

P.S.: Lulu’s login music is amazing! ❤