The last time I wrote about this, it was last November. A lot has happened since then, and A LOT has changed.
Going back to Hong Kong in December made me realize I missed him, and I figured out I really do have a crush on him.
I made the first step of telling him “I kinda like you”. It was nerve-wrecking, but, I do believe that even if he doesn’t feel the same way, at least I’ve let him know that someone liked him. I have no regrets of being the first to take a step if it means giving my love to someone I care about. Screw stereotype and romantic ideologies.
We met each other in person in February, and made it official the day after. February 3, 2013. It was one of the best birthday presents ever, apart from the birthday present he got me. A star is now registered under my name thanks to him.
Telling my family and friends about this was much easier than I thought. I really want to thank them for being very understanding. They were all worried about it, but my family trusted and supported me nonetheless, while also letting me know that if things don’t work out, I will always have them to fall back on.
I was talking with my bestest best friend the other day. She said she was scared I would neglect my friends now that I have a boyfriend. I just really want to tell you guys that no, I would never forget every single one of you. For my secondary school best friends, we have been spending 6 years (or even more!) together, it will take more than a lifetime to forget the time we’ve spent together, both happy and sad memories. For all other friends, including friends I’ve met from University or through the Internet, I will still love you all just like before.
I want to tell everyone that just because there’s someone who means extra to me now, it doesn’t mean you guys will mean anything less to me. If anything happens, I’d still be here listening, giving you the biggest huggles ever. :3
I also really want to thank him. He made me realize a lot of things. One of the most important thing is that it is okay to cry. For the past 19 years, every time something bad happens, I would try to keep it to myself, because I would feel like a drama queen if I tell others what happened every time. I completely sealed myself off 3 years ago when i was doing my IGCSE’s in 2010, after that I got myself a role model that taught me to spread the positivity. And that’s it, since then, I’ve kept the negativity to myself. I had a cup of negativity inside me, and every time something bad happens, it adds to the cup. I’d breakdown when it overflows, and lock myself in my room and cry for the night. It was pretty much the same until I met some really close friends on the Internet from the same gaming community. I didn’t feel as sad anymore, but it also meant suppressing any form of negativity since I want to be positive for my friends.
Somehow I have gained his trust after talking about different things for quite a while, weird hashtags on Twitter, society issues in Hong Kong etc. We started sharing our own problems with each other. Recently, I have realized that I’ve been crying a lot, but I have also realized that I have found someone who understands me, and I would feel comfortable with sharing my feelings with him. Along with my role model’s recent song, he had made me realize that it’s okay to cry. I’ve also never felt like anyone had fully understood me before, but I feel like he does. Apart from that, he loves me for who I am, even when I derp out and everything. Now I just can’t imagine a day without him.
Lastly, here’s something really bold to say. I have no long-lasting plans or whatsoever. We’ve only dated for a month, and obviously it’s too early to say or do anything. However, I have a feeling that this relationship will last. Even if it ends, it’ll be a very beautiful relationship…though I see no reason for it to end. 😛
I love you. ❤