Tomorrow Will Be Kinder


Writing my first love story. This is weird. Just weird. Yeah I was a bit inspired after reading a friend, MrFlatTv’s post about love and “players” of relationships. Read his post here! Well, even if it’s a love story, it needs my own essence in it, and it means blood and stuff. Can it be like a sad-love story? W-wait, this would still contain parts that aren’t so happy, wouldn’t it? When will I ever be able to write a pure love story? loll I don’t know really.

It’s also inspired by the song “Tomorrow Will Be Kinder” by the Secret Sisters on the Hunger Games Soundtrack. I don’t know, iTunes shuffled to that song when I was thinking of what to write. (This song also inspired me with lots of ideas for writing, dammit, I can’t write them all right now. :<)

Yes yes yes, this is my first time to write a story in a boy’s perspective. Just thought it’d be more appropriate to do so. And damn! I even got a line of lyrics reference from the song into it. I love it. lolll Hope you will enjoy it as well!

(Fun Fact: The song “Tomorrow Will Be Kinder” looped 49 times throughout the time I’m typing this post. x3)

 

Tomorrow Will Be Kinder

She phoned me yesterday night and called me over. She cried nonstop. Rambling on and on about how she hates her life. She just got dumped, because she accused her boyfriend of cheating on her. I asked whether it was true, she told me yes, and that she saw it with her own eyes. She saw her boyfriend kissing with another girl. She then continued to sob loudly and rambled on about how she is a loser, how she is just not good enough for anyone.

I wanted to tell her it wasn’t her fault. I wanted to tell her that she isn’t a loser. That she’s nice, and she’s beautiful. I wanted to tell her how her hair smells like flower, how her eyes glisten when she laughs, how she’s so cute when her face goes red when she’s embarrassed. I wanted to tell her about my feelings towards her.

I guess it just wasn’t the right time yet.

We’ve remained the best of friends since forever, and it’s only when she had her first boyfriend, do I realize that I actually have feelings towards her. I’ve always kept these thoughts to myself, since she already has…or had, a boyfriend.

“Dave! You listening to me?” She snapped me back to reality. “What the fuck!? Why aren’t you listening to me? You know what? Just get out! It’s not like you’re gonna give me any advice anyways, just GET OUT!” She shoved me out of her room and shut the door close.

For the rest of the sleepless night I worried about her. Her ex-boyfriend had such a big impact on her, both good and bad…mostly bad. She did seem much happier than I’ve ever seen when they were dating, but everything else just became…worse. Her grades dropped, she neglected her friends, and her attitude changed. I felt distanced from her…which was why I was silently happy when she called me over.

This morning, she didn’t even come to school. Her ex just publicly announced that he got himself a new girl. A new toy, I would prefer the word. He definitely had not treated her right, had not respected her, and had not make a positive impact on her like a good boyfriend, or even a good friend should have.

Sometime during the 6th lesson, my phone buzzed. I excused myself to the toilet to check my texts.

“I’m sorry Dave. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that…but thanks for being such a good friend. I’ve decided to leave this place, I hope you don’t mind. Please don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright. See you again sometime! :)” Read the text.

My mind raced. I do mind. I am worried. Hell, I’m very worried. I rushed down the steps and out of the school building. Grabbing my bike, I thought of all these possibilities of what she is doing, or what she is going to do. I pedalled through the streets and skidded to a stop in front of her house. I ran up the porch and rang the bell rapidly as I tried to peer through the glass to see whether there’s anyone inside.

I heard a thud coming from the second floor. Where her room is. My head spinned. I picked up a huge rock and smashed it through a window. When climbing in, I felt something scratched against my arm and legs. The glass had definitely left cuts on my limbs, but I don’t care. I ran up the stairs and rushed into her room.

Her feet were in mid-air.

Everything went into slow motion. I ran up to her and attempted to lift up her legs while shouting her name over and over again. It’s my turn to cry, I can’t hold it back any longer. I sobbed “Please” over and over again, while I lifted her legs even higher. Tears streamed down my face. It was a while before I notice the faint call of my name. I looked up. She looked exhausted and weak. I put the chair back at the upright position and let her stand on it. Then I helped her down and laid her down on her bed.

After a sip of water from the cup I took from her kitchen, she pulled me close and we hugged. “Please don’t do that again.” I told her. She continued to sob and said her apologies over and over again. I was no longer crying, she needs someone strong beside her right now.

I looked over to her, in her fragile position, I dare not make her sit upright. Instead, I put my hand on her arm, and told her everything. I’ve confessed everything. It wasn’t until I’m done to notice that she was looking at me through her tears. I told her she might not be ready for anything else right now, but I will wait. I will treat her right, and I will respect her. I will tell her she’s beautiful, that her hair smells like flowers, that her eyes glisten when she laughs, that she’s cute when she’s embarrassed.

We fell silent afterwards, and not before long, she fell asleep. I stroked her hair, and told her, “A brighter day is coming your way. Yes, tomorrow will be kinder”.

…then there’s this little thing called love. (Part 3)


The last time I wrote about this, it was last November. A lot has happened since then, and A LOT has changed.

Going back to Hong Kong in December made me realize I missed him, and I figured out I really do have a crush on him.

I made the first step of telling him “I kinda like you”. It was nerve-wrecking, but, I do believe that even if he doesn’t feel the same way, at least I’ve let him know that someone liked him. I have no regrets of being the first to take a step if it means giving my love to someone I care about. Screw stereotype and romantic ideologies.

We met each other in person in February, and made it official the day after. February 3, 2013. It was one of the best birthday presents ever, apart from the birthday present he got me. A star is now registered under my name thanks to him.

Telling my family and friends about this was much easier than I thought. I really want to thank them for being very understanding. They were all worried about it, but my family trusted and supported me nonetheless, while also letting me know that if things don’t work out, I will always have them to fall back on.

I was talking with my bestest best friend the other day. She said she was scared I would neglect my friends now that I have a boyfriend. I just really want to tell you guys that no, I would never forget every single one of you. For my secondary school best friends, we have been spending 6 years (or even more!) together, it will take more than a lifetime to forget the time we’ve spent together, both happy and sad memories. For all other friends, including friends I’ve met from University or through the Internet, I will still love you all just like before.

I want to tell everyone that just because there’s someone who means extra to me now, it doesn’t mean you guys will mean anything less to me. If anything happens, I’d still be here listening, giving you the biggest huggles ever. :3

I also really want to thank him. He made me realize a lot of things. One of the most important thing is that it is okay to cry. For the past 19 years, every time something bad happens, I would try to keep it to myself, because I would feel like a drama queen if I tell others what happened every time. I completely sealed myself off 3 years ago when i was doing my IGCSE’s in 2010, after that I got myself a role model that taught me to spread the positivity. And that’s it, since then, I’ve kept the negativity to myself. I had a cup of negativity inside me, and every time something bad happens, it adds to the cup. I’d breakdown when it overflows, and lock myself in my room and cry for the night. It was pretty much the same until I met some really close friends on the Internet from the same gaming community. I didn’t feel as sad anymore, but it also meant suppressing any form of negativity since I want to be positive for my friends.

Somehow I have gained his trust after talking about different things for quite a while, weird hashtags on Twitter, society issues in Hong Kong etc. We started sharing our own problems with each other. Recently, I have realized that I’ve been crying a lot, but I have also realized that I have found someone who understands me, and I would feel comfortable with sharing my feelings with him. Along with my role model’s recent song, he had made me realize that it’s okay to cry. I’ve also never felt like anyone had fully understood me before, but I feel like he does. Apart from that, he loves me for who I am, even when I derp out and everything. Now I just can’t imagine a day without him.

Lastly, here’s something really bold to say. I have no long-lasting plans or whatsoever. We’ve only dated for a month, and obviously it’s too early to say or do anything. However, I have a feeling that this relationship will last. Even if it ends, it’ll be a very beautiful relationship…though I see no reason for it to end. :P

I love you. <3

Journal Entry – January 5, 2013 (Wrote this on my 12-hr flight back to the UK.)


3 weeks passed by in a flash. 3 weeks ago, I dreaded going back to Hong Kong, I hated the first week back. I still didn’t feel anything special going back, but one thing changed in the last 2 weeks. One more special person who’s worth waking up to, one person who’s gonna be there for me when things go wrong, one person who’s gonna be happy for me whenever I’m happy. One person I now care so much too, one person who trusts me, and I trust him too. One person my heart flutters for. This is new for me, it is very strange yet so exciting to have something new in my life.

On the flight returning to the UK, it feels as if I’m going back home. It feels as if I’m nearer to my friends again, it feels as if things are going back to normal. I love life in the UK, even if it means I have so much more responsibility, and even more in the future. It feels like I have the freedom, I can be who I want to be. I no longer need to restrain myself for a society like Hong Kong’s. It’s so much different here in the UK, and I love it.

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And again, I’m not editing anything I wrote on the plane. :3 So yeah, another post with too much personal feelings. XD It’s somehow quite different when I returned to the UK as well. Oh, also, if you are into gaming, why not go check a livestreaming group a bunch of friends of mine started? Go follow and Like us! Twitch: http://www.twitch.tv/rapidplaygamers Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/rapidplaygamers Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/rapidplaygamers I’m gonna be streaming there regularly too. So see you there! ^^

Journal Entry – December 14, 2012 (Wrote this on my 12-hr flight back to Hong Kong.)


Trapped in the sky without anything better to do, I started to think about things. Sitting down wide awake while everyone else went to their dreamlands, I was here typing, expressing in abstract ways nobody will understand. Even with this beautiful music and my dark surroundings, I could not go to sleep without the comfort and happiness I got from the past few days and nights.

Sat here. Self-battling. Questioning. Thinking. Who am I? What am I? Do I deserve what I have? My thoughts, they weren’t negative, weren’t entirely positive either. Somehow, amidst all these thoughts, memories made me smile. These memories overcame my past, my bad memories, engulfing them in waves of happiness. I smiled. Several times I have to admit.

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Decided not to continue writing once I got home, the feeling is not the same anymore. I still missed you guys and my life in the UK, but I am not trapped in the sky anymore. :P So yeah, this is a bit of a personal post, it’s not negative at all, I’m just going through different times in life, doesn’t mean I can’t be positive, right? ^^ Love you guys. <3